Philosopher in a Bottle
by Nekoichi
Summary: Mustang is a well known famous treasure hunter, who is now in search of a mythical artifact known as the Lamp of Red Jewels. Although, current owner of this artifact is the prince of Arabia, Prince Envy. Who is determined to keep it's true powers a secret
1. Spoiled Riches

**Philosopher in a Bottle**

**Summary: Mustang is a well known famous treasure hunter, who is now in search of a mythical artifact known as the Lamp of Red Jewels. However, the current owner of this artifact is the prince of Arabia, Prince Envy. Who is not willing to part with his dear special treasure that holds many secrets.**

**WARNING! This will contain material not appropriate for underage readers. Rated MA for 18+**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or the characters of FMA and that goes for the rest of this fanfic as well...**

**Mustang X Edward; Envy X Edward**

**Philosopher in a Bottle : Chapter 1**

'' UNEXCEPTABLE! ''

A loud voice spat in anger, as it echoed through out the halls of a royal palace. A marble tile floor, red golden lace drapes, paintings of rare imported art, and a throne fit for a prince. Prince Envy, of Arabia, of course. The royal blood is very selfish and cold hearted; he throws anger fits and causes trouble for others out of mischief. At this very moment, he was setting his attack on a lowly servant who missed a spot on a statue he cleaned earlier. But the prince was only claiming there was a spot; the statue was spotless. Although the servant wouldn't dare to argue with him. ''Clean it again, or throw it out where I don't have to gaze at its ugliness!'' He demanded, and the wary servant bowed his head and quickly left the throne room after getting the statue, leaving the prince to himself.

Envy smirked cruelly, then stood from his throne and walked toward a wall on his right, where a secret door was hidden. He touched the stone door lightly, then it shifted out the way on its own. He stepped into another room, the stone wall closing behind him, shifting back into place. Inside the hidden room was a large array of gold, jewels and priceless artifacts, piled around all over the room. His treasure room; it was originally the previous throne room. So an old throne chair still sat up a small set of stairs in the center. On it was his most prized possession, the Red Stone Lamp, an artifact that outshines gold coins.

Envy sat down on the aged throne while he tossed the lamp around playfully in his hand. ''Ahh, my little genie, come out and play.'' He chanted gleefully then rubbed the lamp with his robe's sleeve. It squeaked and squeaked and shined until a golden smoke like mist emerged from its spout, and into the air in front of Envy. The smoke took shape of a human body; in the mist's place was a boy. He stood up on his two feet with is arms crossed and a slight annoyed expression.

His skin was tanned to a perfect golden brown, his hair was golden and in a long braid that reached down to behind his knees. His eyes were a matching pair of piercing gold, beautiful and deadly. He wore a small red vest, his belly and most of his back side showed. His pants were also red and baggy near his ankles where it tucked into matching red sandals. All of his outfits were laced with gold; necklaces hung around his neck and jeweled braces around each arm. A sight to behold.

''My little genie, I've come to retrieve you for your usual oil bath.'' He grinned evilly, ''With me.'' Then stood up to drape his arm around the genie's shoulders from his side. '' Don't call me little!'' He snapped angrily and clenched his fist down to his sides.

''Aww, is that any way to talk to your master, Edward?'' The genie glared daggers at Envy as he poked his cheek teasingly until the blond swatted it away. Envy's grin only widened, he took Edward's hand gently, in his other was the lamp, then led his wish maker out the treasure room and back to the main room.

''My lord, Prince.'' Envy clenched his teeth and rolled his eyes as they settled on one of his lower grunt guards. Next to him was his Royal right hand guard, Scar. The grunt bowed his head respectfully then spoke again as Envy stood in front of his throne. '' Sorry to interrupt, but we have received Intel about a group, led by the great treasure hunter Mustang, has crossed into our borders.''

Envy raised a brow, ''And why does this have to be of any concern to me? '' The grunt flinched then bowed his head again hastily. '' Uh, well we fear for your safety, and your wealth as well.'' The room was silent for a moment. Then a cackled laugh cut through the stillness, emitted from Envy, while Scar and Edward watched passively.

''Fear for MY safety? Heh heh rich, that's rich (no pun indented), do you honestly think some two-bit, half-assed treasure hunter can be of any threat to me? ''

'' Well uh-''

'' Hold your tongue swine! '' The prince snarled, and the grunt's teeth clicked together as he clamped his jaw shut. '' Tch! Next time comeback with more interesting news, like a stampede of elephants doing fucken cartwheels and blowing fire at the same time! Now get the hell out my throne room before your presence becomes a nuisance!''

'' Y-yes my lord, P-prince Envy! '' The grunt soldier stuttered in fear, retreating out the throne room. Scar remained, his gazed at his prince with cold darkened red eyes and a frown across his face.

''Damn low lives. You need to train your men better, and not train them to be some bunch of pussies that jump in fear over the smallest things. '' Envy said obnoxiously. Scar didn't respond, instead his eyes wandered to the genie, he's only seen twice now, the boy scowled back at him in return. ''Scar, have your men patrol the borders more frequently. If anything comes up, deal with it! I don't wanna hear your men's nonsense bull crap anymore, got it?'' The dark skinned knight nodded in affirmation, ''Your dismissed...'' He nodded once more, then silently left the throne room.

''What a pain…'' Envy sighed, then his usual smirk graced his lips once more. '' Now, where were we?'' He said toward Edward, pulling him along once more toward another room that had an oil bubble bath awaiting them. Edward gave mental groan, he knew what was coming next. He's grown to learn that his master is very fond...fixated of him. And would do strange things to him when they were alone, which was almost always. He would make him bath with him, accompany him around the town in disguise and take joy in other's misery. They would go horse back riding...on a single horse. Eat together, count his money together, sign new taxes together, he made Edward accompany him almost all the time, but it was always just the two of them. Envy even made him stay out of his lamp, so they could sleep together from time to time. His master coveted him like some special item, like a pet…..

It was quite...suffocating...

**LINE**

**Sooo tell me what you think! There will be more chapters, ahh and lots of suspense and a galore of cute genie Ed! = ^ w ^ =**


	2. The Treasure Hunters

{Review Replies}

Anon 1: Wow, not even I knew that. Loloz how ironic :D and thx for the compliment!

GreedxEd: Palmtree! I love that! Truth be told I love Greed x Ed as much as Mustang x Ed :3

Anaee: The idea came to me after I was reading on mythical stories of the world, the result is genie Ed, heh heh

Cipher-of-Will: Well here you go Cipher, but Ed won't have any screen time until the next chapter *DUNDUNDUN*

sathreal: Yes, to me Ed is one of the constant uke characters! X3

**Mustang X Edward; Envy X Edward**

**Philosopher in a Bottle : Chapter 2**

Short raven black hair, matching sharp black eyes, handsome, bachelor, and esteemed treasure hunter. Roy Mustang of the South. A prideful man, and strong leader, well to his lackeys he is.

They don't call their work 'thieving', so they call it treasure hunting.

Mustang had been able to put together a crackpot team of specialists.

Riza, known as Hawkeye by many, a blonde beauty, has the sharpest eyes on the team.

Kain, goes by Fuery sometimes, the group's brain. Smart as hell.

Vato, the coder, studies several languages, and can decode almost anything.

Jean, goes by Havoc, the supplier, if you want something specific, and he'll get you what you need.

Heymans, goes by Breda though, the under grounder, maps out the location, and sketches the blue prints.

Maes, goes by Hughes, the knife specialist, when things go wrong, he goes ugly on it.

Lastly Roy Mustang, but he's just prefers Mustang, the Leader. He gives the orders, and dives the team into each hunt.

Currently their next hunt was to obtain the Lamp of Red Jewels. Stories and myths have been told about it, but known one ever thought it was real. And there's a rumored secret about the lamp that anyone would risk their life for.

All's fair, and love is war, right?

So the lamp was free game, in Mustang's mind that is. After several days off tracking, he received word from Vato and Kain back at their base, that the lamp is located somewhere in Arabia.

And who else would most likely have such a treasure? None other than the Prince of the land himself, Prince Envy. Now any sane man would back down from such a challenge.

Well Mustang was no such man; he was a tactics person, who knew how to improvise plans. And just so happened, one of those plans were to break into the palace, and slip out with the lamp artifact, that will most definitely be waiting for them.

Mustang smirked at the thought as two guards stepped aside for him and his companions to enter the kingdom's borders.

He already knew that his face would be identified quickly, and the prince would find out sooner or later, that a renounced treasure hunter was within the borders of his kingdom. And soon the walls of his palace, if he played his cards right.

Mustang pulled down the hood to his cloak as his group walked through the bustling kingdom. Merchants here, sellers there, children running on the street bare foot to the ground.

''Alright, now let's check out that palace, shall we?'' Mustang said with a smug smile as the rest of his team removed there hoods.

''Sir, we'll have to wait until night fall. The blue prints Kain sent us will help us devise a plan for the occasion.'' Riza said in a straight tone as she held an old rolled up piece of paper. The team communicated through a messenger bird, named Black Hayate, that belonged to Riza of course, a falcon that could track anyone if commanded to, and delivers messages in within two days.

''Ah yes yes, but you know sometimes I can't help myself.'' Mustang shrugged his shoulders up a little. then glanced back at the rest of his team. Maes, Breda, and Havoc came along as well as his most trusted, Riza. With his team in tow, the hunt will be over in a blink of an eye.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sundown equals show time...

Riza was scoping out the area, counting and locating the guards. ''Two at the gate, two on the balcony rails, two near the stream, and four outside the garden.''

''The garden it is then.'' Mustang smirked as he prepared some gear.

His team seemed a bit mystified about why their leader would choose the area with the most guards to break in.

'' Uh sir... Why the garden? '' Havoc frowned a little, while Riza snatch away his cigarette.

''Because according to the blue prints, the palace roof near the garden is slanted, and a cement wall was built around the garden to keep pests out.'' Mustang began with his all-knowing voice.

''Meaning we can scale the wall, and have better access to the roof!'' Breda exclaimed, and Mustang nodded as he marched back and fourth in the sand dunes they were hiding out in, not far from the palace.

''And from the roof, we can enter into the original throne room hidden in the newer one. There's a small opening on the roof that slips sunlight and moonlight into the room. But knowing the prince, there's properly at least 8 guards standing guard outside the room, in the newer throne room. '' Breda mused as they looked over the blue prints once more.

''Which is why we need a distraction at the front gate...'' Riza blinked as she met everyone's gaze on her.

'' Good evening gentlemen...'' Two guards at the front gate couldn't believe their eyes as they stared at what was before them. A beautiful pale skinned woman, who wore thin silken robes and had beautiful long blonde hair. The woman's mouth was covered with a cloth as she spoke again, ''I am the new sculpture designer your highness has sent for. I apologize for my lateness, my horse died of dehydration on my travel to this land.'' She said in a somber like voice, and the two men swallowed hard.

''Uh yes, we'll escort you to our prince immediately.'' One guard said as he offered to lead the woman inside while the other kept watch.

''Thank you...''

''She's in, move out!'' Havoc whispered hastily, and Mustang and Hughes headed out for the garden, while Berda stayed behind to give the 'signal'. Hughes gave the other two a boost onto the cemented garden wall. ''I'll keep look out here.'' Hughes said with a thumbs-up at the other two.

Mustang and Havoc moved silently as they crept on top the roof of the palace. Moving through the shadows, avoiding moonlight.

''There...'' Mustang whispered as they came to a part of the roof where it seemed to cave in a little. At the center was a small square shape skylight.

The duo slid to its level, then gazed down. Sure enough, it was there, in the center of the room sitting on an old throne chair, illuminated in moonlight, was the Lamp of Red Jewels...

**LINE**

**Ah, the lamp has been discovered! But will Mustang be able to 'steal' it? The more reviews, the more and faster I upload chapters! = U w U =**


	3. Infiltration

{Review Replies}

FleetlingAmethyst: Heh heh, well read an find out, I hope it's too your liking :D

tenfoldfiregaze: Really! Why thank you! I had to think a lot on it. But I think I love Hughes's specialty the most, kukuku….

Selphie1207: Thx, I'll keep updating the more I get reviews!

Anaee: I promise Roy and Ed will meet in the next chapter :3 Just wait and see!

**Mustang X Edward; Envy X Edward**

**Philosopher in a Bottle : Chapter 3**

''What the hell are you talking about? ''

Envy glared at his Scar as he kneeled before his throne. The prince was nowhere near amused at the moment. He wasn't expecting any guest of the sort, this late at night.

''My men are escorting her here now, they say she is a designer, requested by you.''

Envy raised a brow as he stood up and crossed his arms. He was wearing the most expensive night robes money could buy. '' Fine let her enter, but if this is some sort of trick, then your grunts that allowed her access to my palace will pay with their lives.'' He said coldly.

Scar only nodded, at the same moment two soldiers entered the throne room, on either side of a young blonde haired woman. The three bowed respectfully and kneeled before the prince. ''My prince, my name is Rizenia, I have come here as a request, to perform my talents for you. '' The woman said without lifting her head.

''She should be in the throne room by now.'' Havoc muttered as Mustang got to work on some rope.

''Meaning we don't have much time, now lower me down.'' Mustang said hastily, and Havoc nodded.

Mustang dropped through the skylight with a bag around one of his shoulders in tow. Once his foot met the ground, he stared at the lamp in pure awe. ''I've finally found you.'' He said to himself as Havoc tied the end of the rope to a statue on the roof then lowered himself down as well. He whistled, ''Damn, the prince sure does know how to live.'' He grinned as he made his way over to some piles of gold and began stuffing his bag.

Mustang glanced at him then went back to the old throne chair with the Lamp of Red Jewels nest on its cushion. He picked it up tenderly and eyed it all over as he smiled to himself. '' Hey Sir, that's not all you're gonna get, are you? '' Havoc asked from across the room in a whisper.

Mustang snapped out his trance, and glanced back over at the other, '' Of course not.'' With that he stuffed the golden lamp into his bag, then went over to Havoc and the two over stuffed a bunch of golden coins into their bags.

''Oh really? I doubt it, who are you really?'' Envy snarled but the women wasn't swayed.

''I am just who I say I am, a designer.'' She repeated and Envy stared down at her in irritation.

''Oh? So where did you travel from?''  
>''Outside the kingdom walls.''<p>

''I know that!'' Envy snapped, then sighed in annoyance, '' Sorry to disappoint you, but I never requested you, or anyone lately.''

Hughes leaned against the cemented walls with his arms crossed as he waited impatiently. ''Why the hell are they taking so long?'' He said to himself as he waited in the cold dessert night.

''Hey!'' Hughes eyes widened as a voice called him out, ''Hey you, what do you think you're doing here!''

A soldier approached him, and Hughes mentally cursed, '' Uh oh, I'm sorry, you see I escorted a woman here earlier, and she seems to have gave me the slip, so I went looking for her, but no luck, heh heh.'' He smiled a little and a second soldier sided next to the first one.

''What do you think?''

''Sounds fishy to me, but we must know if that woman that was the one sent before lord Envy.''

''You're right, but he's trespassing.'' The first soldier turned to Hughes again, '' Let's take him in for now.''

''Ah heh heh, that's not necessary boy's...'' His smile suddenly dropped and he slipped a knife from his sleeve in a flash slit the first soldiers throat.

Blood sprayed everywhere and the second soldier's eyes widened as he watched, '' INTRUDER! INTRU-!' He was cut off as well as Hughes threw the knife into his throat, silencing him.

'' Shit! '' He cursed as more soldiers came to investigate, he reluctantly retreated.

''My lord! My lord!'' Envy glared at third soldier as he crashed into the throne room, out of breath from running.

''What is it, worm?'' The prince said in anger as he averted his attention to the interrupting grunt.

''My lord!-We have an intruder!'' He exclaimed and the woman's eyes widened, but she kept her head down.

''What!'' Envy's eyes widened as well, and he stared at the soldier.

''A man was spotted near the garden, and escaped after killing two of our men!''

Envy clenched his jaw in anger, ''There must be more, fan out and search the palace! Release the dogs! Do something-Now!'' The prince commanded.

The soldier left quickly, while Scar followed after him. Envy began to pace back and fourth, biting his thumb nail as he grumbled to himself. '' How dammit? How could anyone even get this close? Unless…'' His eyes flew to the woman before him. ''You bitch! Who really sent you!''

The woman lifted her head up half way, revealing her brown eyes, '' I am who I stated I am, my lord. '' Envy snorted.

''Don't lie to me-''

THUMP!

Everyone's eyes snapped over to the hidden door leading to treasure room at the source of a loud sound.

'' Fuck! '' Havoc cursed as he stared at the medium sized statue he accidentally bumped over, now broken in half. ''Mustang, we've got to get the hell out of here!'' Havoc hissed, then began climbing the rope.

Mustang nodded, there was no way they were lucky enough for no one to hear that.

Sure enough the room door opened just as Havoc fitted through the skylight. ''You! What the hell do you think you're doing!'' An angered voice caught Mustang off guard. He turned to face two guards, and a very pissed off prince.

The prince stared at the intruder, then to the old chair, and back to the intruder, '' Who are you! And where is my lamp!'' The prince grounded through his teeth in rage.

''Your lamp?'' Mustang said with a mystified expression, ''I assure you this is no one's lamp...'' He said as he took the bag from over his shoulder. Envy eyed it, and was about to move forward across the room to grab it, but Mustang smirked and threw it upward through the skylight. And it didn't come back down.

Berda blinked into his binoculars, '' What the hell is going on here? '' He asked himself, and jumped out his skin as a tired out Hughes ran up to him.

''We've compromised the mission, give the signal.'' the older male wheezed with a grin on his face. Berda sighed in disappointment, then slipped out a hand gun, foreign to this country, and pointed it in the air.

BAM! BAM! BAM!

''Where's my lamp you rat!'' Envy snarled, and Mustang shrugged his shoulders. '' Tch, then perhaps torture will get you to loosen your lip-'' He was cut off by an echoing loud yet sharp noise, ringing into the night sky. Envy glared at Mustang, as the 'thief' smirked smugly.

''Sorry brat, but I got things to see, places to go, and people to meet.'' He gave a salute, and suddenly the room was filled with white smoke. Envy coughed and shields his eyes, and then peered into the smoke, the hunter was gone!

'' Find him!''

Riza discarded her disguise, and held the remaining two smoke bombs in her hands. Mustang quickly ran out the treasure room with smoke trailing behind him, '' This way! '' She called out, and the raven headed male quickly followed his subordinate. She retraced her steps and made her way toward the front gates. Several guards stood in the way.

Mustang grinned as Riza tossed him a newly lit smoke bomb. Nodding, the two rolled them to the ground. In mere seconds, the area was covered in white smoke, loud coughing and curses.

Riza and Mustang slipped passed the daunted guards and made a dash for the sand dunes.

''Edward!'' The prince cried out the other's name in dismay as he searched for his most prized possession. ''That bastard...he'll pay for this!'' The prince grounded through his  
>teeth, eyes filled with malice.<p>

''Sir, you made it!'' Havoc grinned at Mustang and Riza as they approached him, Hughes and Berda.

''Were you expecting me not to?'' Mustang chuckled, then looked down at the two fat filled bags at Havoc's feet.

''We've got what we've came for, so we'll have to find a way out the country now. Knowing Envy, he'll lock down the place and search for us.'' He dug into one of the bags and pulled out his newest treasure.

The Lamp of Red Jewels.

He smirked then began to rub and clean his new prize...

**LINE**

**Loloz! I actually wanted Mustang to be like, Oh s***!, when he got caught by Envy. But then I thought about it, and concluded that Mustang is to cool for that O 3O Please Review!**


	4. The Golden Genie

{Review Replies}

OMG! So many replies! I love you guys! Here is the next awesome chapter of P.I.A.B.! =^[]^=

**Mustang X Edward; Envy X Edward**

**Philosopher in a Bottle : Chapter 4**

Mustang rubbed his new treasure with his sleeves, polishing it dearly. He squinted his eyes slightly at what seemed to be an inscription.  
>''Excuse me Sir, but we have to move out quickly.''<p>

Riza stared at him calmly, while the others packed up their gear as quickly as possible. ''Right...'' Mustang wrapped his new treasure in a silk cloth then stuffed it back in his pocket. ''Let's move out before Envy's men catches up to us.'' Mustang smirked as he led the way under the moonlight, their feet kicking up sand as they hurried along. When a large boulder came into sight the group slowed their pace. Hidden on the other side of the rock was their getaway rides. Camels.

'' Hunh? I thought we were gonna use horses?'' Havoc said as he lit a bud.

'' Yes yes horses are cool, but camels are more equipped for the job.'' Mustang said with a high and mighty smirk. ''Come, the night is still young. We must cover some ground before sunrise.'' The team nodded in agreement, then began to hook up their gear on the four camels. Riza rode behind Mustang, while Breda, Havoc and Hughes rode on their own camels.

The dessert mammals trekked quickly across the sand at a hasty pace. Camels can be fast when they want to, just not all the time.

''Men, Riza and Hayate! This is our greatest achievement yet! We have obtained the Lamp of Red Jewels, the greatest treasure of the East '' The teamed cheered as they sat around a fire together. They were celebrating a successful job well done, even if they got caught in the process. All that mattered was that they acquired what they desired the most, the Lamp.

Hughes gave the others a toothy grin, '' Heh heh, knowing Envy, he'll probably want our heads for this.'' he slurred before downing some liquor.

Fuery snickered, ''From what you've told us, I'm sure I would come after you guys still.''

''To bad that won't happen.'' Mustang smirked, ''By tomorrow we'll be out of the kingdom... Day after that, we'll be safe back in Japan.''

Falman frowned a little, ''What if... What if we don't make it in time?''

''Nonsense.'' Mustang said immediately, then pulled out his esteemed treasure from his pocket. ''Gaze at its glory. Once we leave this country and return home, our names will be known even more. We'll be national heroes, not lie that we aren't all ready.'' the treasure hunter complemented himself and the others out loud.

Falmon's sweat dropped, ''That doesn't really explain anything...'' He sighed with a nervous cracked smile.

But Mustang didn't really notice, he was too busy staring at the lamp again. ''...Rub my skin...Feel my breath...Kiss my lips...Where we met... '' The leader muttered to himself out loud, and all the members stared at him in confusion.

''What's that supposed to mean?'' Fuery grunted as he drank down a gulp, stinging his throat.

''Hm?'' Mustang blinked then glanced at the others. ''An inscription.'' He said, more distracted by the golden lamp as the red jewels, embedded in its side, gleamed as the flames of the fire flickered.

''Rub my skin...'' Riza cupped her chin as she went into deep thought.

''Feel my breath?'' Breda frowned in confusion as he closed his eyes to think as well.

''Kiss my lips...'' Hughes's grin widen as his mind wandered somewhere else.

''Where we met...'' Havoc said before taking a puff of his cig, ''What the heel does that mean?''

''Don't know... But… It's on the Lamp so it must be a SECRET! '' Mustang shouted his conclusion epically.

''You're an idiot...'' Falman sighed, continuing to drink.

''No, quite the opposite...'' Breda crossed his arms, ''I think Mustang is onto something. I mean why else would those words be carved into there.''

''Yeah, but what if Envy just had it carved in while he had it the whole time?'' Fuery suggested.

Mustang brushed his thumb across the inscription. ''Rub my skin... Do they mean rub the lamp?'', Riza palmed her fist in her other hand, ''Of course!''

''Hunh?'' Everyone else said in unison.

''The inscription itself is from the lamp's point of view. So its skin; is the gold of the lamp! ''

Everyone stared at Riza like she just grew two more heads. Hayate simply pecked at his outstretched wing, ignoring the humans around him. ''That's ridiculous!'' Breda burst in a weird laugh, of course he would. ''How can the inscription be written by the lamp itself, that's impossible.'' Breda pushed his glasses further up on his face.

Riza glared at the scientific know it all, but before she could say anything, Mustang beat her to the punch, '' No...I think Riza might be right… But the real question is... Why would you want to rub a lamp?''

''Polish it?'' Hughes suggested, ''Actually that's a load a crap, just rub the damn thing already, and let's see.'' The slightly drunk older male said to the other.

Mustang paused for a moment before doing just that. He pulled his sleeve up on his palm and began rubbing the lamp. Nothing. He tried even harder. Still nothing.

''Told you.'' Breda smiled just as Mustang began rubbing erratically. Nothing. He began shaking the lamp around out of irritation, ''What the hell! All that thinking was for nothing, what a waste of my amazing brain power!-''

''SHUT UP!''  
>Everyone froze, had Envy's men caught up with them?<p>

''Yeesh, you damn humans are so obnoxious!'' The lamp jumped and clattered around in Mustang's hand. Every member of the group's eyes widened. Smoke suddenly exploded into the sand covered clearing and surrounded everyone. A small figured appeared among the mist of it.

''Ho..Holy shit…!'' Mustang said in awe as his jaw dropped when before them, revealed a boy with golden hair and matching eyes. His arms were crossed along with his legs, from where he sat in mid air.

''Tch! You're all an eye sore...'' The male scowled as he stared them over. ''I am Edward, the genie of the Lamp of Red Jewels.''

**LINE**

**Finally! Edward is in the building! WOOT! Anywho please Review to fuel my muse for this wonderful story! O w O**


	5. Wishmaker

{Review Replies}

Dies from review overload. X _ X But dies happy…

Edward X Mustang; Edward X Envy

Philosopher in a Bottle : Chapter 5

''A real live genie!'' Mustang's eyes glittered with excitement, ''This is awesome!''

''This can't be possible.'' Breda said in disbelief as he stared at the legendary being.

''So this is what Envy has been trying to hide from everyone.'' Riza said with almost just as much excitement in her eyes as Mustang.

''This means we can get three wishes!'' Havoc exclaimed while Hughes grinned from ear to ear.

''But what if... Are you guys really sure he's a real genie? '' Falmon doubted, and a tic of anger appeared on Edward's forehead.

''How dare you, I am indeed a real genie!''

Hughes snorted, ''Right, and I'm the tooth fairy.'' Fuery snickered, but Edward was less amused.

''I'll prove it too you then! I grant you one free wish, no payment?''

Payment?

Mustang rose a brow, but didn't think much on it, ''What! But I'm the on who summoned you!''

''Shut your mouth! And wait second!'' the genie snapped angrily, and Mustang sighed with a nervous smile.

''Alright, let's see...'' The older male began thinking then grinned when he came to a conclusion. '' I wish for a Tactical Bayonet Knife.''

Everyone gave him a straight look saying 'of course'.

''Granted!'' Suddenly, there was a puff of red smoke in front of Hughes, who blinked in surprise as a knife fell into his palm.

'' ...Damn...'' He stood up in glee as he looked over the new blade, perfect to the very tip of the blade. ''Yup, that's a genuine genie for ya!'' He grinned widely as he tossed the knife expertly.

Breda was speechless and Falmon was shocked. Mustang only smirked, ''So that means I am now the new master of this genuine genie!'' He said following an almighty laugh.

''Shut up! Your voice is so irritating!'' Edward snapped at him again, but Mustang shot him a sharp look. Causing the genie to flinch at the sudden change of mood in the human.

''You know...for a genie you're kinda young, and a bit small, I though most genies were old men-'' Mustang never got to finish before Edward took his slipper off, and flung it upside Mustang's head.

''Don't call me small!'' The genie said as he growled at his new master. Mustang chuckled in return then put his hands up in a mock surrender.

'' Hai, hai, my bad. I'll remember that, how about shorty, or munchkin, maybe pipsqueak? ''

Riza and the others, besides Hughes who was ogling over his new weapon, shook their heads in annoyance at how foolish their leader was. Not really caring when the genie began beating Mustang with his slipper again.

''Ok!'' The genie dressed in red huffed, and crossed his arms as he stretched out his legs, ''Come on you stupid human, ask for a wish already!'' He sneered and looked away from the raven headed male.

''You're kinda cute when you're angry, ya know.'' The treasure hunter chuckled then backed away in time for the golden haired boy to miss when he lashed out in return.

''I'm only kidding, now calm yourself.'' He smirked as Edward tried to regain his composure. '' Now let's see... What should I wish for...? Oh! Before I wish for anything shouldn't you tell me the rules? ''

''I'll tell you that only when it's necessary.'' the genie said as his brow twitched in irritation. He just couldn't stand being near humans, his last four masters were horrible, especially that damn prince. He blinked, whatever did happen to that damn prince, and where was he now, anyways? He decided to push the questions away so he could focus on his duty. ''Well, make your damn wish already.'' He said with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

Mustang wondered for a bit, ''Nothing.''

Edward glared at him, ''What was that?''

''Nothing, for now. I can't let my self get distracted at the moment. My first objective is getting you back to Japan with me and my crew."

Edward gave the other a blank look before speaking, ''Whatever, do what you want.'' With that, the genie disappeared in a poof of red smoke. Riza stared at Mustang in confusion, ''Uh sir... Why didn't you just wish us back to Japan?'' The air was silent for a moment as tumbleweed rolled by.

''Not to worry, I'm sure like any genie I only get three wishes, so I don't want to waste my wish on a travel expense.''

''You're an idiot.'' Falmon muttered again before gulping some liquor. Fuery grunted in agreement, but Mustang never caught onto it.

''Right.'' Riza said as she sweat dropped, ''So what now? Surely Envy will come after us for something so valuable as that.'' She reasoned.

Mustang nodded, ''I know, but no need to worry, we'll just proceed with our normal plan from before. Get out the way we got in.''

''Isn't that a little too predictable now?''

''Not at all,'' he said as he sat down around the fire with the others again, ''Plus we need some rest, we have a lot of land to cover tomorrow, we'll have to travel through the next night as well.'' Breda groaned.

''Mustang, doesn't any of this get to you at all?''

Mustang blinked, ''What do you mean?''

''I mean, we just saw a real live genie, that holds against all laws of science, aren't you the least bit shocked? ''

Mustang let out a hearty laugh, ''Of course I am... But that doesn't mean I should change because of it.'' He said simply, and Breda stared at him in surprise. His leader truly was an amazing man.

''Now! A few more drinks then rest!'' Or not...

Envy was seething in his chair as he sat in the throne room. Scar entered then got down on one knee as he bowed before his Prince. ''Well? Have your men found them?''

''No, but we found a trail.''

''Then why are you still here? Follow it and bring what belongs to me back to me! '' Envy snarled as he slammed his fist on the arm chair of his royal seat.

''Yes, Prince Envy.''

''And one more thing,'' Envy smirked as Scar stopped on his way to the entrance. ''I want you to personally kill Mustang! ''

LINE

**Well that's quite unexpected, but trust me, Mustang is no saint. Loloz. Please review, to find out if Envy will have his revenge or his Mustang will out smart him once again. As for poor genie Ed, I'm sure eventually he come to like his newest master, kukuku. T w T**


	6. Poker Face

{Review Replies}

Oh my, oh my so many reviews w Than you all for your support and sorry for the delay, I give the next chapter of P.I.A.B. :3

Mustang X Edward; Envy X Edward

Philosopher in a Bottle : Chapter 6

''I pass.'' Edward raised an eyebrow as he stared at his handful of cards he had. Hughes had talked the genie into playing a card game with him, Mustang and Havoc. At first, the little wish maker refused to play a game he never heard of because he didn't trust them. But Riza reassured him that it was a simple card game, for some reason she seemed like the only sane person in the group.

Edward reluctantly agreed to a small game of what the human's call 'poker'. Which now, the blond boy regrets.

He bet down two free wishes, Hughes betted 2 pounds in gold, Havoc 1 pound, and Mustang betted 6 ponds. Overconfident much.

''I fold.'' Hughes sighed as he laid down his last four cards. Havoc was focusing intently on his remaining cards while Mustang laid down his.

''2 kings.'' he said smugly with another matching pair.

''Um... Ok what about these?'' Edward laid down his cards and Hughes gaped at him like a fish, ''A full house! Edward, are you sure you've never played cards before? ''

''And what reason would I have to lie?'' Edward shot back after feeling mildly offended by Hughes comment.

Mustang cupped his chin with his hand, ''I guess you win then-''

''Not exactly.'' the three males turned toward Havoc who finally laid down his cards. ''Straight royal flush.''

''Damn.'' Hughes grinned, and Edward blinked in confusion.

''What does that mean?'' The golden haired genie grimaced as Hughes smirked at him.

''Havoc wins, meaning he gets all the money and two free wishes'' Edward scowled, muttering 'cheater' under his breath.

''Good luck next time, Shorty.'' Mustang said smugly as if he didn't care for the large amount of currency he just lost. Edward, however, cared for his comment, flipping the table before them in anger. Causing the playing cards to flutter into the sand.

''Stupid human!''

''Insecure little brat...'' Mustang muttered nonchatly.

''Who you calling so little you can use them as a fish bait!''

Havoc's sweat dropped, ''This argument makes no sense… '' He sighed then turned to Edward, ''So what about my two wishes?''

Edward huffed in irritation as he turned his attention to Havoc, ''Damn you humans are so needy! And most of you have god complexes! '' He shot a glare at Mustang who was too busy yawning into his hand. ''Tch...Alright what do you want to wish for?''

Havoc grinned, ''Ok for my first wish...I wish for a new pack of cigs''

''DUMBASS!'' Mustang and Hughes flared in unison.

''So be it, hold out your hand.'' Edward mumbled with disinterest. Havoc did so as Edward clapped his hand together and red smoke poofed in Havoc's hand, leaving behind a pack of his favorite cigarettes. ''And your second wish?'' Edward asked as he crossed his arms.

For a moment, Havoc actually seemed like he was thinking, ''Hmmm nothing comes to mind...how about teleporting all of us home?''

''Nope.''

''Why not?'' Mustang interjected, actually interested to know why.

''Because I don't want to waste my energy on sending a bunch of idiot humans through a rift of space and time.'' There were a few moments of silence before Mustang spoke.

''So basically the bigger the wish, the more energy you use?'' Edward nodded, ''And because we're humans, you don't want to waste so much energy on us?'' Edward nodded again. ''So in conclusion you're just a stubborn little brat...'' Edward threw his slipper at Mustang's face, smirking in satisfaction when it made contact.

The blond turned back to Havoc, while Hughes poked Mustang's motionless body with a stick. ''Well?''

Havoc rubbed his chin as he lit up a new cigarette. ''Hmm, I think I'll save my second wish for now.''

''Why? So you can waste it on another pack of cigarettes?'' Mustang asked as he sat up from where he was on the dessert ground, a perfect slipper imprint shown on his face.

''Maybe.'' Havoc smiled slyly as he trudged over to check on the remaining camel. Edward gritted his teeth in annoyance, ''Why are humans so weird...?''

The genie's ears twitched, he looked out into the distance and noticed movement. Camels, riding them was Riza, Breda, Falmon and Fuery. ''They're back.'' the blond muttered out loud, more to himself then anything. Mustang followed his gaze and noticed as well.

When the small group finally came to a stop, Riza greeted them upon their return. Mustang watched as his subordinate hopped off her camel, along with Breda. ''So what's the status?'' Mustang asked while the others helped unload some bags.

''Security is too tight, there's guards all over the town. One thing is for sure, we won't be able to leave the way we came '' the blond frowned slightly, her hazel eyes seemed distant.

Mustang chuckled then patted her on the shoulder, ''No worries, as long as we have Edward,'' He nodded toward the genie, who was tasting some of the bread Riza brought back with her, ''We'll be fine...'' Mustang reassured the young women.

''Right, sir!'' Riza smiled genuinely, but it soon disappeared when a screech pierced the sky. The small group of treasure hunters glanced to the sky as Black Hayate circled above them, releasing another screech. ''...We have to move.'' Mustang stared at Riza, ''They're getting closer Sir, I suspect that Envy must be sending professional trackers after us.'' Mustang grimaced. In the dessert foot prints can disappear do to the shifting sand dunes, but not even that would be enough to give the Prince's guard dog the slip.

''...Alright, let's move out men! ''Mustang shouted his order, grabbing everyone's attention. ''Envy's men are getting too close for comfort, we'll have to travel through the night to gain more distance and see if we can make it to another town within range.'' Riza nodded in agreement.

''But what if they're expecting that?'' Mustang blinked at Edward in surprise who blushed slightly, ''It's not like I care or anything!'' He immediately snapped. ''It's just that... Envy won't stop until he gets me back... And has all of you killed... You humans are in way over your heads... So just give up already...'' He smirked, trying to taunt the humans again. But what the genie didn't expect was hearing Mustang let out a hearty laugh. ''What the hell is wrong with you! Stop laughing at me!'' The genie scowled as his blush deepened.

''I'm sorry heh... It's just hard to take you serious when you're as red as a tomato over there, it's kinda cute... '' Mustang gave Edward a smug grin while everyone else's sweat dropped.

Edward clenched his teeth in anger despite his redden face, '' BAKA! '' He flared before disappearing in a poof of red smoke, back inside his lamp. Mustang continued to grin, his eyes filled with amusement as he tapped on Edward's lamp that was tied on a belt around his waste.

''Uh excuse me Sir...?'' Riza snapped the brunette out of his musings.

''Oh right! Let's head out!''

LINE

**Sorry for the late upload, I recently bumped my head and received a head injury so I've been out of it lately. It's minor but I still ended up getting a concussion. But no worries, it's healing and I'll be on my feet in no time. I just didn't want to leave you guys hanging O w O Please review, maybe that'll make me get well soon :3**


	7. Dessert Moon

{Review Replies}

pixie101: Truth be told, strip poker was the first thing I came up with, but then I though to myself-it's too soon for Mustang to get to see Edward in the nude =/w/=

Cipher-of-Will: Love your support ;D

Fireotaku18: Thankyou! I hope you like the newest chapter too!

Anaee: Yes, continue :D

**Mustang X Edward; Envy X Edward**

**Philosopher in a Bottle : Chapter 7**

Scar's eyes hardened as he removed his shades, he swatted down to get a better look at the sand. It was faint but it was still there, a foot print. In the foot print was a put out cigarette.

''Scar...sir?'' The dark skinned male was pulled out of his mussing as he stood up straight again and glanced over at his soldier. He brought along nine men in total, not including himself. The plan is too meet up in the next town, with one of his post, where at least 30 to 40 of his loyal soldiers await. They'll aid him in fanning out and searching the local area, in an attempt to find the thieves and stolen property of Envy.

''Sir?''

''Silence!'' The soldier stiffened as he sat atop his horse. ''They were here... And they're not that far off...'' He glared darkly as his red eyes stared down at the cigarette.

######

''The moon is being eaten by the sky...''

Edward muttered to himself as he sat on the sandy floor, looking up at the sky. It was night by the time he decided to come out his lamp again, the others were packing up, ready to head out through the night. Edward sighed as he pulled his legs closer to his body and hugged them, laying his face down, but continued to look at the moon.

''Edward, we're heading out, are you ready...'' Mustang trailed off as he wondered over to the genie, his eyes widen slightly as he stared at the young boy, bathed in moonlight. His golden eyes seemed so far away as he gazed at the moon, milky white in the sky but being slowly consumed by darkness. He smiled then made his way over to the boy silently, noticing when Edward tensed up, and stared at him with caution once he noticed Mustang's presence.

''Where did you go?'' Mustang asked as he sat down next to the blond, his hands touching the sand on either side of his body for support.

''What do you mean?'' Edward's brows furrowed as he glared at the human next to him.

''A while ago... The look in your eyes were so distant...'' Mustang cocked his head to the side as he gave Edward a soft smirk. Edward blushed slightly then looked away from Mustang, and back to the sky.

''You humans are so weird sometimes...'' The blond said with a hint of irritation, which only made Mustang laugh, Edward looked back at him again, confusion written on his face along with more irritation, ''What's so funny?'' He asked as he raised a brow.

''Nothing... It's just that...'' The ravenette leaned over to Edward, his eyes meeting the genie's who is caught off guard by the closeness, their faces only an inch apart, ''I just think your kinda cute when someone manages to read you like a book...'' And just like that, Mustang moved away leaving a very flustered Edward some space.

Mustang got back to his feet then offered out a hand to Edward, who turned away curtly and ignored the offer. After the genie stood up by himself, he led the way back to the others, mumbling 'baka, baka, baka' under his breath, that filled Mustang's eyes with mirth.

Havoc stomped out his latest cig, glancing up at Mustang and Edward as they approached the group, ''Hey love birds, why'd ya take so long to get back?'' Havoc grinned, but the grin quickly dropped when Edward shot him an icy glare.

Riza shook her head, ''Havoc you should learn to mind your business or you'll just make thing's worse.'' the blond female scolded, ''Be useful and go help Hughes resupply the water jugs down by the cactuses.''

''What I was just teasin-'' Havoc cut off as he felt something beneath his foot move, ''What the hell...'' Riza blinked in confusion, while the rest of the team stared as well.

''What's wrong?'' Fuery asked as he came closer to find out himself, Breda stood next to Falmon while Riza was near Mustang and Edward. Havoc lifted his foot, and squinted his eyes as he saw something black and shiny, partially buried under the sand.

''What is that? Treasure?'' Fuery asked as he squatted down to poke the strange object, Havoc shrugged.

''How the hell should I know.'' He muttered as he took out another cig to light up, Breda blinked in awe then hurried over to get a closer look.

''It's an exoskeleton!'' Breda exclaimed in excitement, ''It's amazing and so hard!'' Breda smiled as he poked it, the shell shifted, ''It moved...''

''I told you! And what the hell do you mean by exoskeleton?'' Havoc's brow furrowed as he slipped a cigarette past his lips, staring down at Breda as he continue to poke the moving plate.

''An exoskeleton is like an inside out skeleton, it's more or less armor that protect a certain insect's body''

''Insect...?'' Falmon frowned. Breda nodded as he smoothed his fingers over the black armor plated exoskeleton.

Edward's eyes widened, ''Get away from it!'' The blond screamed in panic, the other sent him bewildered glances, ''Don't touch it, just step away from it, or else it'll get mad!''

Breda gave Edward a sympathetic smile, ''What are you talking about, there's nothing wrong with it, it's just some insect that's trying to hide underground...'' Breda trailed off as the ground began to vibrate under their feet, ''Uhhw-whats go-ing on!''

Edward pulled on Mustang's sleeve as the ground continued to rumble, sand began to pile up as some huge started to emerge from the ground, Breda flinched back in shock as a stinger emerged from under the ground where his hand once was. The team stared in utter shock as a large scorpion rose from the sands of the dessert.

''**SCREEEEEEEEKKKKK!**'' The monster screeched in fury of being disturbed, it's glinting red eyes scanning over the group of humans as its stinger rises into the air. Breda and Falmon trembled in fear as the scorpion looked down at them.

''You idiot!'' Edward hissed as he glared daggers over as Breda, who was too scared to speak. ''Step back slowly, and don't make any noises or else it'll attack.'' The blond instructed, Mustang glanced down at him, more shocked that Edward was trying to help them, the fact that there was a man eating giant dessert scorpion at killing range. The other's nodded, doing what Edward instructed, slowly stepping back while the scorpion eyes them closely with several of its eyes. The camels weren't that far off and everything was all ready pack to go.

''HEY GUYS! I GOT THE WATER!'' Mustang stiffened as everyone turned in the opposite direction, not a long ways off was Hughes, climbing back up a sand dune to get to them, he was covered in some cactus needles as well. ''Uh...'' His face froze as he smiled up at the scorpion, his green eyes wide with shock and amusement as the scorpion turned to face him...

**LINE**

**My cold is finally dead! Ands my head is healing quite nicely. Yay, and I feel awesome! Anywho, poor Hughes, wrong place at wrong time. If you want to find out what happens to the gang please review! TT w TT *ALSO* Please visit my profile for info on UPDATE information of my fanfictions. Thankyou!***


	8. Power of the Sun

{Review Replies}

pixie101: Loloz it's cause Hughes is always where the action is at! ^ w ^

BlackWolf2Dragoon: Yes I know, once again I apologize for the grammer. I'm currently having all my stories betaed so the grammer won't be a problem much longer :D

Kitsune-the-fox: Yes, yes he is! XD

salenastarzz: Why thank you, I hope you enjoy the next installment!

Cipher-of-Will: Well that make me happy to know! And no I don't mind a little criticism, just nothing to harsh, kay? :3

**Mustang X Edward; Envy X Edward**

**Philosopher in a Bottle : Chapter 8**

''That dumbass.'' Edward mumbled, he had a strong urge to disappear back inside his lamp and wait until everything blew over, but he doubted any of them would survive. Maybe Riza, but Mustang and the rest of them are idiots.

''**SCREEEEEEEEKKKKK!**''

''Oh fuck...uh well hiya there!'' Hughes waved up at the scorpion as it loomed over him, he smiled widely at the creature while still holding the canteens filled with water. ''So uh guys...'' The male looked over his shoulders at the others, who were at a safer distance away, ''Some help would be nice~!'' he sing songed.

Riza sighed and took out a small pistol from her back pocket, ''I wouldn't,'' Edward warned the blond woman, ''Those things are tough and some bullets ain't gonna kill it easily.'' The genie frowned as he remembered one of his previous masters had many guards with guns. But that didn't mater, at the time there were at least four more and bullets didn't do a scratch on them. In the end Edward retreated back into his lamp and waited it out, while his master was ripped to pieces, not long after that Envy found him.

He had come to some sort of idea that it was probably a set up but then again the desert can be a dangerous place.

''Hmph, leave him, he's done for.'' Edward said simply and everyone gave him a shocked look.

''Hey! That's mean!'' Hughes whined as he glanced back at them, but his gaze quickly went back to the scorpion as it shifted in the sand, stepping a little closer to its potential prey.

''We can't leave him!'' Mustang snapped causing the blond genie to flinch, he stared at the human in shock, ''We never leave one of our comrades behind!'' His demeanor suddenly serious as he stared at the scorpion, ''I want to make a wish...''

Edward blinked out of his stupor, ''Wha...''

''I said I want to make my first wish! Are you deaf or something?'' Mustang rose and eyes brow while the genie scowled.

''Shut up! You don't talk to me like that-''

''Guys!'' Hughes yelled in a panicked voice as he suddenly turned to run toward there direction, the scorpion finally decided to attack and was pursuing him.

''Hughes, stop running!'' Mustang yelled in an annoyed voice, the male suddenly came to a halt and whipped around to face the scorpion with a large grin on his face.

''Ha! Men don't run away from a fight!'' the ex-militarian dropped the canteens and flashed several knives from his sleeves, his grin grew as the scorpion kept coming, as quick as lighting he flung the blades at the monstrous desert creature. Several bounced off its hard armor as it continued to come at them, ''Oh shit!'' Hughes gave nervous expression before fling one more blade.

Landing right in the scorpion's one of many eyes, **''SCREEEEEEEEKKKKK!**'' the insect screeched in pain and reeled back somewhat. ''Bull's eye!'' Hughes cheered for himself, satisfied with the result.

''Edward,'' Mustang smirked over at the genie who looked away from the scene, amazed that a mere human could hurt something like that! ''Are you ready?''

The blond male scowled, ''Of course I'm ready!''

The scorpion shook its head wildly, trying to shake the knife out of one of its eyes but didn't succeed. Its remaining eyes glowed an angry red as it continued to charge at them, ''Oh...I think I pissed him off.'' Hughes chuckled causing Breda and Fuery's sweat to drop.

''Alright for my first wish a...'' Edward waited impatiently as the cornel trailed, ''...I wish for the power of the sun!'' He declared with an excited smile, Falmon gaped at him while Riza shook her head.

''Whatever...'' The genie mumbled, ''Hold out your hands.'' Mustang blinked but did as he was told. The genie clapped his hands together causing a flash of red smoke to appear between them. Mustang blinked in surprised at a pair of white gloves that now covered both his hands; in the back of them was a strange symbol of a lion and the sun, in red.

''Try them out.'' Edward yawned as he glanced over at Hughes who was tangling with the scorpion, Riza seemed like she was going to jump in any minute.

''But...how do I?'' Mustang frowned, they seemed like ordinary gloves to him but they felt warm and soft on his hands, and a strange feeling was emanating from them.

Edward glared at the human, ''Just snap your finger!'' The genie shouted in time for Hughes to run past them, the scorpion hot on his trail. Mustang's eyes widen and he braced himself as the scorpion lifted it's stinger to attack.

**SNAP!**

The scorpion suddenly combust into flames after Mustang snapped both his hands, his eyes opened slowly in surprise as he looked at the scorpion screech in pain as the flames burn it alive.

''Holy shit...'' Mustang said in awe as he gazed down at the gloves, he glanced back up to see the genie gone, having retreated back inside the lamp to rest, not caring how the rest of the night play out. Mustang smirked, ''Alright..!''

**SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!**

The treasure hunter let loose a barrage of sparks, flames lit upon the scorpion while the others watched in amazement. Hughes smiled, ''At least we'll have something to eat now!'' He half joked.

######

Mustang sat on the cooled sand dunes, away from the circle his loyal team mates had made around a fire, while the scorpion meat cooked. The treasure hunter smiled as he rubbed the lamp in his possession. After a few moments a red smoke appeared, which soon changed into Edward's very cute young body. Mustang gave the boy a smug look as he gazed at him, still liking the genie's outfit.

''Well! What the hell did you call me for?'' The genie demanded as he stood before the other, scowling down at him in annoyance. Mustang stood as well then stepped closer to the genie. Edward's eyes widened as he suddenly felt Mustang's lips seal over his own soft pink lips. He gasped sharply, giving Mustang the chance to snake an arm around his waist and pull him closer while his tongue invaded the boy's mouth.

Edward's brow's furrowed and his eyes closed as his cheeks burned red with embarrassment and disbelief, the kiss was felt so strange to him. He had never in all his years as a genie, kissed a human before, and he never planned on it either. Let alone a male human! Edward whimpered as Mustang's tongue mapped out his mouth, then coaxed his tongue to play too. The kiss was amazingly heated...it felt...good... Well until Edward pushed against Mustang's chest.

He moved away from the treasure hunter, his eyes wide in confusion and anger as his entire face lit red while his hand quickly tried to wipe the remnants of the kiss from his lips, ''Wha...what the hell!''

Mustang laughed out loud, a large smile on his face, until he finally calmed, ''It was a thank you, for giving me this,'' He held up on of his gloved hands, ''They're amazing, they don't even get dirty and they feel great, I can even touch fire and not get my fingers burned.'' His smile grew as Edward stared at him. ''You did an amazing job today, thanks.'' The ravenette bowed his head a little before turning to move away. Leaving Edward in shock as he realized what just happened.

''Hey Ed, ya coming or not?'' The genie blinked as he stared at the human again...this was strange...strange indeed, this human was very strange...

The genie scowled despite his blush, ''Whatever...'' He mumbled as he crossed his arms and followed his new master back to the campfire. The human race really is strange.

**LINE**

**Yes, yes it is Edward. But you know you like that little kiss, a gift to all my followers for this fanfic. Don't worry I'm sure Mustang will be able to convince our little genie that not all humans are bad. Anywho please tell me what you think about this chapter in a review, I'm sure it will fuel my muse! = ^ [] ^ =**

***Also, there is currently a Ichigo Uke Arrancar Diary Poll up, to see more visit my profile and vote! The poll will be closed by December 18****th**** 2011!***


	9. Generosity

{Review Replies}

Red Stone: *hides a safe distance away from crazy fan* ^ [] ^;; ok next chapter, shall we?

Momoluvsu13: My apologies, I've been having problems will my files mixing, so thx for that! U w U

Tenfoldfiregaze: Thanks for that! :3

pixie101: Everyone has gotta love Hughes! XD

skywright: Coolio, oh and a Roy without fire is like a lion with out a roar ^ w ^

**Mustang X Edward; Envy X Edward**

**Philosopher in a Bottle : Chapter 9**

Edward glanced around with curious eyes, his golden orbs looking over all the stands filled with food and toys, and carpets and clothes, ''What...What is this place?'' the genie asked as he followed after Mustang. The little wish maker was wearing a red cloak to hide his golden hair, Mustang was wearing a blue one while the others in the group was black. Breda smiled from behind the genie, ''It's a market, people come here to buy and sell items, including food, and clothes, even luxury items'' Edward quirked a brow over his shoulder at the male but then looked away. He's never been to a market before, all his past masters were rich and had high power, besides there were too many people and loud noises at markets anyways.

''Why are we hear exactly?'' the genies sighed as he continued to walk with the others, a little annoyed when Mustang told him that humans don't float so he has walk on is own two feet. Unfortunately it makes the genie feel small so he doesn't enjoy it much.

''We're going to sell this'' Breda dug into a sack he was holding the whole time, pulling out a black plate like item, ''It's the exoskeleton from that desert scorpion Mustang cooked'' the genie blinked as he remembered back to the incident two days ago. When Mustang made his first wish, it was for the Power of the Sun, Edward created Ignition gloves that was just as strong as the Sun's flames. Powerful items that can combust large amounts of areas, it usually depends on the handlers will for fight...and to kill.

He glances up at the ravenette as they stop in front of a stand, a women with dark skin and brown hair turns to face them from behind the stand field with odd goods. He bangs are pink and her clothes are dusted up by san a little.

''May I help you?'' the women asked the group in a kind voice, Riza stands on the other side of Mustang as the male speaks, ''Is you teacher here today?'' the male ask as he places the large sac Breda had onto the stand's wooden counter.

The women shakes her head 'no' and frowns slightly, ''I'm must apologize by my teacher left the day before yesterday to go into the desert and retrieve some lizards for his newest medical potion...but he hasn't return...'' the girl lowers her gaze and Mustang's eyes harden.

''Does he usually takes this long when he leaves to go out?''

''No...the longest he's been out is usually for 6 hours, I fear the worst for him at the moment...''

Mustang clears his throat before smiling smugly, ''Worry not...''

'''Rose' '' the girl says timidly.

''Well worry not Rose', me and my team are experts at finding things, how about I sell theses goods to you and in return I'll find your teacher'' the girl's expression brightens at the male's words, Edward simply rolls his eyes. Who cares if a single human dies out in the desert somewhere? He'll just become vulture food, everyone moves on eventually, even the dead. Havoc pulls out a light to smoke from where he is next to Falmon. Why Fuery yawns from where he is next to Breda.

The girl quickly goes through the bag and looks over the goods Mustang brought her, she then holds the bag up and shakes it a little to try and determine the weight, ''This is fine Scorpion armor, I'm sure I can sell it to the Prince's army for great worth'' she smiles then leaves for a moment to go to the tent set up behind the stand. She comes back with a back of money filled with gold coins and tosses it to Mustang.

Edward scowled slightly as he watched the two speak, he didn't like...He didn't like how the women was smiling at Mustang and how she looked at him with shimmering eyes. It was...pissing him off for some reason. He clenched his fist at his side, not realizing it either. The golden genie didn't like being around so many humans in the first place, he didn't like this market place...

''Why thank you...'' Mustang says as he takes the back of money and pockets it, before he start walking away from the stand.

''Um...'' Mustang stops in his tracks as the girl starts to speak again, ''How long do you think it will take for you to find him?'' the girl asked hesitantly, Edward scowls he notices the slight blush on the girl's cheeks and the way she stares at Mustang.

''Give me a day at best,'' Mustang guesses, ''Oh, right..which way did her go?'' a tick of anger popped on Edward's forehead.

''You were going to walk away with out even know which direction to go it?'' the blond growled in annoyance and Mustang chuckles.

''Right...right...'' he looks back at the girl then followed the direction she pointed in, ''He headed west near the Crystal dunes...'' Mustang nodded then began to walk away again, Breda was frowning a bit.

''Uh, sir, but that area...'' the younger subordinate began but trailed of as his eyes laced with nervousness met eyes filled with determination.

''I know, it's a pretty hostile territory...but no worries...''

Fuery seemed a bit nervous about the idea, ''Uh sir, are you sure, do we really have enough time to burn?''

''Nonsense, of course we do, it'll only take a day, and I doubt Envy's men will catch up anytime sooner'' the over confident bastard grinned in Edwards's direction, making the golden haired glared in return and looked away.

Edward scoffs, wondering if it was his fault that Mustang has gotten more and more cocky lately.

The golden genie blushed slightly and looked down at his feet as he followed after Mustang, his mind was wondering back to when the other...kissed him...Sure it wasn't his first kiss, all the other's were forced, but that one felt different. It felt soft, light and chastised, as if Mustang was holding back some what, just thinking about it made the genie turn red. He shook his head slightly to get rid of the thought, not wanting to think on it any more then he has already.

He returns his gaze back up but gasp softly when his eyes meets Mustangs, the male was staring at him with a sharp yet curious stare. His black eyes looking him over, making the genie blush considerably.

''What?'' Edward finally snapped out in annoyance and confusion, his heart beating at the other male continued t stare.

''...Sorry I was just wondering how long you hair is when it's not braided up'' he laughed but was met with punch to the face.

Hughes whistles in approval as he looks at the red mark on the other's face. ''That looks painful...'' the green eyed ex-militarian smirked. Mean while Edward was muttering under his breath, something along the lines of, ''Buffoon and Idiot...''

Mustang ignored his comrade and continued to grin, his cheek swelling from the hit, ''You shouldn't be so abusive to you master '' he scolded as they moved away from the market area back to where they kept their camels in a stables.

''Tch, as if!'' Edward sneered.

**LINE**

**So a little side quest is in order, yes? Let's see how it plays out as well, shall we? Oh so many question! = w = Please Review!**

***by the way, my uploads were late because I have major test coming up and Iv'e been quite caught up in my school work. What a pain. But anywho, wish me luck! O w O***


	10. Down Under

{Review Replies}

Sooo many reviews XD Yay! Hmm sorry about my chapters being short or a bit scratchy, I'll try to improve them better. Oh and we've made it to chapter 10 yay! So anywho here's the next chapter of P.I.A.B.! O w O

**Mustang X Edward; Envy X Edward**

**Philosopher in a Bottle : Chapter 10**

''Mustang you bastard!'' Edward screeched as he and his master disappeared under the layers of sand and fell into an underground cave. Edward winced as he fell on top of the ravenette who was just as much out of it. Edward frowned in slight pain, rubbing his forehead. It was just him and his new master alone in this damn cave with no idea how to get the hell out. Edward blushed darkly when Mustang chuckled and bucked his hips a little, ''Ya mind Ed, your kinda heavy'' Edward scowled and quickly moved off the male and gave him a good kick in the shin.

''Shut up! This is all your fault now find a way to get us out of it! I ain't staying down here with your corpse for the rest of eternity!''

Mustang sighed and sat up in the pile of sand he and the genie had landed in, now how about we roll the clock back a little...

######

''So what was this guy's name again?'' Riza spoke after they walked for sometime. Mustang stopped in his tracks and gave a nervous laugh.

''Right, well Rose said something like Hallen...or Makki...or something like-''

''You have no idea do you!'' Edward interjected with an accusing finger and Mustang chuckled in delight somewhat, enjoying his reaction while the other's sweat dropped.

''Yeah well I never got the chance too, anywho we already know he's into herbs and catching things like lizards so he must be an expert in medicine or something like that...'' he trailed off as he went into thought. Riza shook her head and Ed sighed as he crossed his arms, he was riding ontop one of the three camels alone. The other two were occupied by Fuery and Breda. While Falman, Havoc, Hughes, Riza and Mustang walked along side them.

''Well at least we got the right direction from Rose'' Falman added as he smiled a little but Ed was still in a bad mood, the blond huffed and looked the other way, ignoring everyone's presence. To him finding some missing guy is a waste of time. He probably already died from the desert heat if he was missing for so long…

''What's this!'' Mustang suddenly gasped and hurried toward some sort of body laying on the desert floor. Everyone watched in confusion as they caught up with him. Edward hopped off the camel and walked over instead of floating like he usually does. They all crowed around the rags that were covering a body.

''Are they...'' Fuery swallowed, ''Dead?''

''If they were it would stink by now...'' Riza answered, while Mustang reached for the one of the rags and pulled it away, it was only more rags. The ravenette frowned when several small black marbles fell from between the cloths.

''What the-'' the small black marbles suddenly combusted and released smoke into all of their faces, coughing filled the air as everyone is blinded. Mustang suddenly feels hands around his waist and grabbing at his lamp hidden at his waist.

''Thieves!'' Mustang shouted as he grabbed at the hands that were near him but wasn't quick enough. The familiar weight of his lamp was gone.

''Hey! Put me down you fucker!'' It was Edward's voice; Mustang forced his eyes open despite the stinging pain as he made out a figure running toward the camels with a blinded genie over his shoulders. ''Edward!'' Mustang hurried towards them. There were three, dressed in black, one carrying Edward, one was carrying stolen good and the last was struggling to control the camel which was spooked from the whole event.

Edward flailed wildly making it harder for his captor to control him, Mustang realized they weren't members of Envy's army, so who the hell were they and why was there a trap set out here for them, or was it for any passerby-er? Mustang sprung into action and decided to ask questions later, he formed a gun made of flames from his gloves, a small pistol and pointed it at the three.

''Put the blondie down and step away''

Edward scowled, ''Blondie?'' he repeated in annoyance and gave Mustang a dull look, while the others were finally recovering from the smoke attack, and trying to regain their senses in fresher air.

The three dressed in black had their mouths covered and only their eyes were visible. The one holding stolen goods dropped them and quickly charged Mustang, who in return was surprised by the thief's speed. He barely side stepped but winced at a flash of pain on his shoulder. He was cut and bleeding slightly, he turned to face his attacker who was in some sort of stance and holding up a dagger like a well trained assassin. Mustang grimaced and quickly shot at the person. A flaming bullet shot past the thief's head, his aim off due to the pain in his shoulder. The person charged again but this time Mustang was a step ahead, he stood his ground. Pain flashed again as the dagger sliced his arm but in return Mustang grabbed the unknown person by the back of the collar and slammed the thief into the desert sand.

He stepped down on the person's abdomen and pointed the flame pistol at the thief as the scarves from the thief's face fell off to reveal...a women. Mustang blinked, his eyes glancing downward as he made out the shape of breast under all those black clothes.

The women seemed quite young too; he shook his head and glared over at the other two just as Riza and the others are hurrying over. ''Put the blondie down!'' the three hesitated before releasing Edward back to his feet. The genie quickly kneed his captive between the legs and took back his genie lamp before attempting to hurry over to Mustang.

Mustang stepped away from the women and went over to Edward, meeting him half way but before he could say anything his foot slipped into the sands.

''Hunh...'' the ravenette gave a humorless smirk and his eyes widen as the sand suddenly began to cave in under them, Mustang hooked an arm around Edward's waist and tried to get out of the pit of a trap the sand was creating but slipped as the two of them are dragged back down and quickly engulfed under.

######

Thus brings them to Edward cursing Mustang's name as they fell into the cave below and the genie landing in the other's lap when they landed ontop a pile of sand. Edward flared as he stared up at the flow of sand coming down from the surface. There's no way they could go back the way they came but there's also no way he was going to stay here and wait for Mustang to die.

''Well how do you suppose we get out of here?'' Edward hissed in distaste as he began to dust sand off his clothes. Mustang was doing the same somewhat after getting back to his feet; he emptied his gloves of any sand as well.

A bit impressed from his abilities earlier at creating something out of his flames instead of just the flames itself, his own talent never ceases to amaze himself. He glanced at Edward with a slightly serious expression, ''Well I could always use one of my wishes but...'' Edward sneered and Mustang smirked. ''If it comes down to it I'll use a wish, so how about we explore a little first, hunh?'' he held out his hand to Edward who simply stared.

Their situation wasn't all bad, it was just the two of them, in an underground cave, which had some light and it was cooler then how it was above the surface, plus the place was huge and the ceiling was way to far up. Edward simply turned the other cheek, his face blushing red as he walked past Mustang in a random direction, ''What ever...'' the blond said making Mustang chuckle.

''Stubborn as always''

LINE

I bet I had you guys going for a second there, Edward being kidnapped-Ha! Not if the Great Treasure Hunter Mustang has anything to say about it first! Anywho please reply! ^ w ^

***So I'm putting up another poll for Ichigo Uke Arrancar Diary, because I got an awesome idea the other day. So basically after most of you wanted the idea of Shinigami X Arrancar Ichigo I thought while not do a AU based off of I.U.A.D. Where Ichigo is a captain in the soul society and you guys can give request of Male Shinigami X Captain Ichigo. So tell me which idea you prefer in my newest poll. AND please vote, this will determine how my new Male Harem story will go! O [] O***


	11. History Lesson

*****ATTENTION, because FF has been deleting stories I decided to start uploading them on Deviant Art, as back up, my name it Nekoichi379!*****

{Review Replies}

D: Thankyou :)

locki: Nice to know ^ [] ^

Cipher-of-Will: Detentions are annoying, and no prob btw :L

redrubydevil: It was fated to be! Loloz, and yes Roy screws up everything XD

kay-ka33n: Why thx :3

**Mustang X Edward; Envy X Edward**

**Philosopher in a Bottle : Chapter 11**

''So let me get this straight...'' Riza glared at the three across from her and the group, the one dressed in black, their faces revealed as they glared right back. The one on the left was a seemingly old man the one on the right was a young girl with black hair and eyes. But the one in the middle was a young looking boy with supposedly closed eyes and a big smile on his face.

''So you'' Riza pointed at the one in the middle, ''Are a prince from a neighboring country who has come here to seek the power of the Lamp of Red Jewels? And the other two are your body guards?''

''You got it!'' the one in the middle said with a smile as he looked at the group who were a little distrust around the ones who tried to genienap their little Edward.

Riza crossed her arm and sighed, ''All right, so if you don't work for Prince Envy then how do you know that Edward had something to do with that lamp you guy's also tried to steal?''

''Well I'ts because that Genie belongs to my Clan''

Everyone but the three newcomers stiffened, ''What do you mean belongs to your Clan?'' Riza asked as she lifted a brow.

The one in the middle smiled again, ''My name is Ling Yao, I am the 12th prince of my Clan, I live quite far from here as well'' he introduced himself, ''These two are old man Fu and Lan Fan, they have served my family for generations.'' the two bowed their heads a little. ''My clan origins are from China, I traveled here to Arabia to retrieve what was stolen from my clan''

''And that would be?''

''The Lamp of Red Jewels of course'' he said eagerly, ''You see, that lamp has been passed down my family for a long time, the prince or princess who posses the lamp becomes the next emperor or empress. Unfortunately a few years back it was stolen by a greedy old merchant, it was around the time I was about 7 years old, and I was suppose to inherit the lamp''

''No way then that would mean-'' Fuery gasped but was cut off by Falmon.

''That Ed rightfully belong to Ling...''

Riza frowned a little but tried to compose herself, ''Have you any proof?''

''Oh yes, plenty'' the prince said with much confidence, then moved so he could fish something out of a black bag, but opted in dumping it out instead, causing a bunch of scrolls to fall out. The group gathered around more and took the scrolls, opening some of them.

''These scrolls have pictures dating back almost a 100 years ago, and most of them were of the description of the lamp and how it looked, but my grandfather, the last possessor of the lamp was able to unseal it'' he explained. ''About 10 years ago to today, the genie was seen by humans for the first time, a young boy with golden hair and golden eyes...he was smaller then me quite the cutie'' he said as he lifted up a scroll with a picture of a younger looking Edward when he was about 5 or 6 years old.

''This can't...be possible...'' Havoc muttered as he stared at the scroll, along with Hughes who was freaking out about how cute Edward look.

''What's this?'' Fuery asked as he found another scroll, but it seemed different, it had a golden lamp with blue jewels not red and a boy that seemed similar to the young Ed except shorter hair.

''Oh that, that's just Alphonse, Edward's younger brother''

''WHAT!''

##########

''Chu!'' Edward suddenly sneezed and scowled to himself, ''I think someone spouting crap about me...?'' he mused to himself but Mustang heard as well, he chuckled a little as he patted the blond on the back.

''Don't worry I'm sure it's all positive crap'' he smirked but Edward glared at him and shrugged his hands away as they walked through the somewhat dark under ground cave. Mustang snapped his fingers and caused a few small little flames to float around them, they seemed to move freely on they're own lighting the way as well, like small fire fairies.

''Hey by the way...after stealing me, where were you going to take me when you get out of Envy's territory?''

Mustang glanced at him for a moment before answering, ''I'm gonna cross through China and head back to my place in Japan of course'' he said simply.

''But why? Why did you go through so much trouble just to steal me from Envy?'' Edward frowned as he looked up at Mustang, his mind think back to the kiss they shared before. Wondering was it a lie, a game, a joke just to play with his feelings so he would come with the treasure hunter more willingly. No-that couldn't be it!...Right? Why should he care anyways, Mustang was just another human!

''Actually, I ain't gonna lie, I didn't think a real life genie would come out this lamp'' he emphasis on the lamp secured at his side, ''I was gonna put you on display with the rest of my collection, but now that I know your real...'' he stopped walking and stared down at the golden haired boy. The genie stopped as well, scowling with slight worry in his eyes, along with annoyance and confusion. ''Now that I know your a living being, I want you to stay with me and my crew...'' he muttered.

Edward's golden eyes harden a little at the male's words, was he expecting him to say something else? Who know...

''Oh...and one more thing...''

''...!'' Edward's eyes widen as he felt a pair of lips on his own...again? He stared at Mustang with a shocked expression, his cheeks burning red with embarrassment as treasure hunter's hand slipped around his waist and brought their bodies closer as he backed into the cave wall.

''Mmmnn...'' Edward's eyes closed as a small low moan escaped from his mouth when he felt the ravenette's tongue push into his mouth. His hand moved to push at Mustang's chest, trying to make the other move away. Non of his previous masters ever did such things to him. They would always dress him in many jewels and revealing clothes, so they can admire him, time to time they would run their finger though his hair or across his skin. But Mustang is the only one that has been so passionate toward him, not even Envy has tried to kiss him this way...

And it feels so...

''G-get off baka!'' Edward yelled as he turned his head away and pushed at Mustang's chest harder, never! He will never admit to liking anything that's brought on by a human! Never damn it!

Before Mustang could say anything lewd or point something out they were interrupted by a strange sound. The two off them tensed up as they heard the weird sound again...it sounded like wet soggy foot steps. Their eyes moved to the unknown part of the cave path they have been traveling in. The little sparks of fire daring to move ahead and light up the unknown.

''W-what...was that?'' Edward asked a bit frighten and having a strong urge to return to his lamp at the moment.

''I don't know'' Mustang replied as he moved away from Edward, ''But we're going to find out...''

LINE

Shocking yes? I never said their was only one Lamp of Jewels loloz. Anywho to find out what happens next-Review! And tell me what you think! O [] O

*****ATTENTION, because FF has been deleting stories I decided to start uploading them on Deviant Art, as back up, my name it Nekoichi379!*****


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